The First Date: 4 Questions To Break The Ice
A first date is a funny thing. Some can be fun and memorable while others can be awkward and not so exciting. One thing is for sure, conversation is one of the most important aspects of a date and it can be the tie breaker if you’re on the fence about your date.
Focus on making an effort to ask a combination of different questions to get a good picture about the person who is in front of you. This can help you make an informed decision if a second date is worth pursuing.
Pop these four questions sparingly throughout your date to find out if you’re more than a one-time-match with Mr./Ms.Tonight.
First Date Question #1: What's your favorite way of relaxing after work?
Maybe they enjoy bowling or having a few drinks with friends at the local bar. Or maybe your date finds it more relaxing to recharge their batteries hanging out at home and watching TV. Discovering what your date enjoys doing after they clock out gives you a sense of their lifestyle and if you can see yourself being a part of it.
First Date Question #2: What’s your favorite magazine?
With this question, we’re looking for a particular insight into your date’s psyche…
First, such a question gives you a chance to learn their interests and what grabs or holds their attention. Do they read business journals, entertainment magazines, or publications related to personal hobbies? The second benefit of asking this simple question is to open the door to a broader range of conversations to keep the evening alive.
First Date Question #3: Why do you love what you do for a living?
Yes, I know this question assumes they love what they do, but it’s meant to direct the conversation towards future life goals. Is your date satisfied in that area of their life? No better time to find out than on the first date… super important! Are they ambitious? Lazy? Looking for a change? Maybe your date isn’t fulfilled in their current employment and is using the present position as a stepping stone for something else. You’ll gain valuable insight into their dreams and desires and, most importantly, if they’re a person willing to work for what they want.
First Date Question #4: What makes you laugh really hard?
Everyone’s sense of humor is different. A great way to find out if your date for the evening has a healthy sense of humor is to find out what makes them laugh hard. Do they like to hear jokes, tell jokes, watch stand up comedy, or simply laugh at themselves (or others)? Can they enjoy the funny side of everyday life with all its shenanigans? Pay attention because it gives you insight into whether they are easy-going or not.
Tell me the worst first date you ever had…
No one likes probing questions. So instead of asking, “What are your relationship goals?” on the first date, instead, use a light-hearted question to be more relatable while you dig a little into your date’s past (and possibly the future) without crossing a boundary. One of the biggest complaints from singles today is that they go out with people who, in the end, are not relationship-minded. It’s better to get a “read” on this sooner than later.
Here’s one last tip… Don’t turn your first date into an interrogation. Lighten up, laugh, and enjoy your company!
Many singles are quick to declare they know their level of compatibility with the other person within the first 15 minutes of a date. But, is that the absolute truth or is it that our swiping culture has altered our tolerance for others?
There is a big difference between thinking you know someone and really knowing someone. “Judging a book by its cover” is a popular concept in our culture, but it’s also a bit old-fashioned. People are more diverse today than any other moment in history. Give your date (and yourself) a chance to experience something different than what you always expect.
I encourage you to dig a little deeper within yourself and give your date an honest shot. You may actually surprise yourself.
Michelle G., CRS® is an Online Dating Expert and Certified Matchmaker and love coach with a Bachelor of Science degree in Social Psychology. Michelle and her team are passionate about helping singles find their plus one. Follow @Ms.Michelle.G on Instagram and @AskMichelleG on Twitter.